Bonk! 20 miles . . .

According to my marathon training schedule, today was my last "long" run! Yippee!!! I've got to admit I am glad to be done with it - getting yourself pumped up enough to go spend over 3 hours running alone takes a lot of will power, and I'm not sure I have the drive and determination to do this a lot. I never really doubted that I could do it, but I can't say that I felt over-confident going into today's run - it really was more of a sense of dread. I think that feeling of dread contributed to my tremendous "bonk."

Just in case you're not familiar with the term, "bonk" means to "hit the wall." One of my favorite scenes in the movie "Run Fat Boy Run" (which if you haven't seen, consider it a "must see" according to Adam Seate), is when Dennis (said fat boy) hits the wall. In his mind, it is a literal brick wall, and he stops and stares at it. Some many people have gathered to cheer him on, and they all realize that he has hit the wall, and there is this tremendous sense that he is done. Dennis begins to visualize all the things that have driven him to run this marathon, and he sees one of the bricks moving. As the brick moves out, he peers through the hole remaining and he sees himself on the other side beckoning him on. At this point, he backs up, and tries to run forward only to hit the wall once again. Now he backs up one more time, and with all his might and determination he breaks through that wall and goes on to finish the race. Today, I hit that point at the 18th mile.

In hindsight, it was still a good run. Maybe I went too fast at the beginning. Maybe I didn't eat well enough yesterday. Maybe I ran too many miles (10) on flat country roads before I went into the country club and the up and down hills. Maybe it's that I defeated myself before I even started my run. All I know is I began hitting the wall at mile 13, and by mile 15 I had to stop and walk for a bit. When I run, one of my goals is to never stop (other than bathroom breaks). But today, I walked plenty. Those last few miles were truly a struggle today, and of course that just creates more fear because I was only running 20 miles, and not the 26 for the marathon. However, deep down I still believe that I have it in me to complete the marathon, and I believe that I, just like Dennis, will break down any wall that gets in my way.

Here are my splits:
Mi 1 - 9:18.03
Mi 2 - 9:16.93
Mi 3 - 9:24.66
Mi 4 - 9:26.72
Mi 5 - 9:30.44
Mi 6 - 9:26.79
Mi 7 - 9:15.83
Mi 8 - 9:25.78
Mi 9 - 9:19.77
Mi 10 - 9:36.28
Mi 11 - 9:30.79
Mi 12 - 9:32.13
Mi 13 - 9:49.62
Mi 14 - 9:58.41
Mi 15 - 10:02.94
Mi 16 - 10:15.33
Mi 17 - 10:17.07
Mi 18 - 11:29.66
Mi 19 - 10:45
Mi 20 - 11:02.72
Total = 3:16:44.90